Don't you hate it when you turn off your alarm instead of hitting the snooze?
I can't seem to help doing it. Its not like I mean too, I just can't seem to avoid it. Its not like I don't know why I do it, I do it because I don't get enough sleep, and don't know my phone well enough to snooze it without thinking. (That's called a run-on sentence)
The reason I bring up my oversleeping habit is to point out something in my own life, which is probably true in your life too. I like being in control.
Control looks different for different people. For me, it means staying up late, getting up early, and trying to figure out why I'm always exhausted.
But, when it comes right down to it, my own pleasure is a root idol of my existence.
I was talking to one of my best friends yesterday and we were talking about satisfaction.
I make no secret of my desire to find a wife. But one of the things we talked about yesterday that really hit me was that I am not satisfied in Christ.
As my friend reminded me, until I am satisfied in Christ, i won't be satisfied in a wife, or in an amount of sleep, or a job, etc.
As I seek satisfaction in Christ, I see more and more idols that must be broken.
Being in a time of transition (work, school, stage of life) means that there are a lot of new beginnings. Like the day I moved out of my parents house for good.
Or the day I decided to be a church planter. As I approach the beginning of a seminary career and the preparation to plant a church, I can't help but reflect on the idea of "satisfaction".
I am quite convinced that God intendes us to be both completely satisfied in Him, and completely unsatisfied with the fallen world in which we live. I hope as I am beginning this transitional time that I am seeking my satisfaction in Christ and not in the world in which I live.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Three Weddings and a New Monastic Community
Life has been pretty crazy these last few weeks. (understatement anyone?)
I've been to three weddings in the last few weeks and thats caused me to reflect on my own "relationship status" (thank you Facebook). It's not that I'm really looking to be "in a relationship" right now, but I can't shake the desire to have a soul mate. I want to share my life with someone, to know that there is someone out there who shares my hopes and dreams, and who cares about seeing me fulfill them.
I've met some great people in the last few months, including some great girls. But I still feel like something is missing. I wish I could explain it, but I can't seem to put it into words. I thought for a little while that I'd finally met someone, but I realized pretty quickly that I was in no position to pursue a relationship with that particualr girl. Not so much because I didn't feel like we had a connection, but because I feel like I've got a lot of growing up to do.
I need the Holy Spirit's fire in my life again. It's been so long since I sensed that passion, that desire to make the name of Jesus great, that I sometimes wonder whether or not I'm even supposed to be in "ministry". (The whole discussion fo what it means to be in minsitry will have to be a seperate post.) I don't love reading the Word, I don't love the gathering of God's people, i don't even like being around Christians sometimes. But I can't help but think that somehow God wants to use me. I'm not exactly sure what it will take, but something has to change.
Which brings me to the other random thing I've seen in the last few weeks. On Sunday, I got the priviledge to be invited to spend some time with a New monastic community (Missio Dei, if you are wondering) in Minneapolis, MN. I got the oppurtunity to participate in their gathering and to talk with several of the members of that community.
It was refreshing to see regular screwed up people loving Jesus and each other. I was put to shame by the comment of one of the girls. She said (paraphrasing cause i din't have my notebook handy) that we pursue the spiritual disciplines not in order to set part of our lifes apart from the rest of it, but so that we can begin to see our whole life as spiritual. It was really hard to hear that, because I am so apathetic to the spiritual disciplines, and so desperate to feel the presence of God in my life.
Even after the gathering, when I got to hang with one of the leaders of the group, i still kept coming back to the idea of Spiritual disciplines.
The School year starts in two weeks.
Here's the practical goal.
Daily time in the Word. Daily time in prayer and meditation. Daily time disciplining my body (exercise). With those spiritual discplines, and the exicising of certain bad habits, I hope to see the Spirit move in my life.
We'll see.
Welcome to the Tales of a Wanderer looking for the Spirit's Power to fall.
I've been to three weddings in the last few weeks and thats caused me to reflect on my own "relationship status" (thank you Facebook). It's not that I'm really looking to be "in a relationship" right now, but I can't shake the desire to have a soul mate. I want to share my life with someone, to know that there is someone out there who shares my hopes and dreams, and who cares about seeing me fulfill them.
I've met some great people in the last few months, including some great girls. But I still feel like something is missing. I wish I could explain it, but I can't seem to put it into words. I thought for a little while that I'd finally met someone, but I realized pretty quickly that I was in no position to pursue a relationship with that particualr girl. Not so much because I didn't feel like we had a connection, but because I feel like I've got a lot of growing up to do.
I need the Holy Spirit's fire in my life again. It's been so long since I sensed that passion, that desire to make the name of Jesus great, that I sometimes wonder whether or not I'm even supposed to be in "ministry". (The whole discussion fo what it means to be in minsitry will have to be a seperate post.) I don't love reading the Word, I don't love the gathering of God's people, i don't even like being around Christians sometimes. But I can't help but think that somehow God wants to use me. I'm not exactly sure what it will take, but something has to change.
Which brings me to the other random thing I've seen in the last few weeks. On Sunday, I got the priviledge to be invited to spend some time with a New monastic community (Missio Dei, if you are wondering) in Minneapolis, MN. I got the oppurtunity to participate in their gathering and to talk with several of the members of that community.
It was refreshing to see regular screwed up people loving Jesus and each other. I was put to shame by the comment of one of the girls. She said (paraphrasing cause i din't have my notebook handy) that we pursue the spiritual disciplines not in order to set part of our lifes apart from the rest of it, but so that we can begin to see our whole life as spiritual. It was really hard to hear that, because I am so apathetic to the spiritual disciplines, and so desperate to feel the presence of God in my life.
Even after the gathering, when I got to hang with one of the leaders of the group, i still kept coming back to the idea of Spiritual disciplines.
The School year starts in two weeks.
Here's the practical goal.
Daily time in the Word. Daily time in prayer and meditation. Daily time disciplining my body (exercise). With those spiritual discplines, and the exicising of certain bad habits, I hope to see the Spirit move in my life.
We'll see.
Welcome to the Tales of a Wanderer looking for the Spirit's Power to fall.
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